Mt. Hood Classic and Cascade post race report

Seems like my funny little idea is growing rapidly now - I've picked up new members, joined a racing team, and tapped into a seemingly unlimited supply of bright orange Illegal Feed Zone T-shirts.

It was a great year for the IFZ, membership in the facebook page has doubled, I started this blog, and have scored two interviews with cycling celebrities.  I'm looking forward to next year already!

Here is the report from Mt. Hood and Cascade Classic:

Mt. Hood Classic:

First off, do the ride if you don't race in it.  The Queen stage is a 73 mile monster with three climbs over 2500 feet and some of the most amazing single lane forest service roads in the world.  When the race happened in May there was still 8 feet of snow at the sides of the road. 

The Illegal Feed Zone was a huge success as well.  Of all the races I've been to, this was the one where the peloton was the most broken up.  Riders were strung out, without support, and both mentally and physically destroyed by the time they hit the last climb (3000'!) and found the Illegal Feed Zone.  I ran out of Coke very quickly and was needing both of my new IFZ criminals to help me as everyone wanted a drink. 

Speaking of the new members; I rode the group ride with a couple guys that I work with that started a team called Soraz Racing.  Yes, it is pronounced soreass racing.  How could I not join that team?  Here I am ripping it up (HA!) in the Cat 3/4 race at PIR.  

Anyway, Dwayne and Noel became co-conspiritors after seeing the Illegal Feed Zone in Action.  They have access to some pretty sweet sticker machines and soon after they took THE OATH (Rule 1 of the Illegal Feed Zone: There is no Illegal Feed Zone) these banners showed up.

Here they are at Cascade Classic - more on that later....

Other notes from Mt. Hood Classic.  If I hand you a drink it will not be open, please don't complain about that.   I figure most racers want to know exactly what is going into their system and even though a dude on the side of the road with an official looking sign seems legit - well, I just don't think I should pass an open drink to someone.  This isn't cyclecross.   Of course if you are Kelly Crowley (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Illegal-Feed-Zone/309854441712#!/profile.php?id=715244602) I'll gladly open your drink because you absolutely kick ass and are a Major Inspiration.  

But to the masters dude who chucked his can of coke in a fit of whining rage because it wasn't opened..... - man up next time. 

Other than that one incident everyone was awesome! 

OK, switching brutal mountain stages to Cascade Classic; here is the report:

I brought in a new member at Cascade this year and met up with a couple of previous troublemakers to have a great time.  First stop was Safeway in Bend for some burger supplies.   Hmm, plain hamburger patties or the gourmet "Blue Cheese and Garlic" ones in the deli case.  Easy choice.  Once John (the new member who is also either my Aunt's brother in Law or my Mom's ex-boyfriend from High School) and I arrived at the scene and set up we went for a ride then got back in time to watch the pro men go by.  I still don't understand how after 4 hours of racing at 6000' with two big  huge(!) climbs they can still be bunched together.  But they are.  So the feed zone gets neglected a bit by those clowns going uphill at 20mph.   Seriously, who the hell goes uphill that fast and skips out on the sweet scenery and the IFZ?   Apparently the guys chasing Mancebo is who. 

Anyways, here are the burgers.  They were magnificent.  Sorry to all those that rode by and had to smell them.... 

  And, the best part of Cascade (for me) was getting to do a roadside interview! 

"Hi, are you Alison Starnes?"

"Yes"

"I'm Andy from the Illegal Feed Zone"

"Oh, ummm, ok?"

"Can I interview you for my blog?"

"Sure weirdo, whatever.  Thanks for the Coke."

It.   Was.     AWESOME!  

I'm pretty sure Velonews is going to be calling me any day now to hire me to do more groundbreaking journalistic work.  Not sure if the quotes are 100% accurate because like those dorks in Pro Men, Alison was doing 20mph up the hill and I ran out of oxygen very quickly as I was trying to run alongside with my bag o' drinks.  But, she was true to her word and provided me with an interview.  Thanks!

Other news:  The Illegal Feed Zone's wheel service is alive and well.  This time it was a rear wheel which thankfully one of us had a matching cassette.  Not me.  None of these wussies in today's peloton are rocking 9-speed Ultegra any more.  Lame.  Best part of wheel loaning is that when the racer comes back to return/retrieve his wheel he gets shanghei'd (spelling, I don't really care this late at night) into service of the IFZ. Sucker. 

All in all, it was a great day and I truly appreciate all of you who helped make it a lot of fun!  To the two of you who actually read this: thank you for your support and keep on reading!

Ride safe, ride fast, and keep on pedaling! 

Andy

Interview with Professional Racer Alison Tetrick Starnes

Alison Starnes is a professional racer with Peanut Butter and Co Twenty 12 and also the US National Cycling team.  As a Illegal Feed Zone customer she was kind enough to grant a rare interview.   She did a great job, plugged her sponsers and claimed to have never partaken in the Illegal Feed Zone.  That icy cold Coke knows better tho......

Thanks again Alison and good luck with the rest of the season and on to London!

To see her famous Road ID commercial with Bobke, click here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwoHbE8yuXo

1. How did you get into bike racing? Was it for fun, exercise, or just all the free drinks from Illegal Feed Zones?

I didn't even mean to get into bike racing.  I thought biochemistry and pipets were my calling, but bike racing found me.  Bike racing rescued me from my dabbling in triathlon, and took me out of my lab coat and around the world.  Being your typical Type A nerd, I have a hard time doing anything just for "fun".  Once I tasted the pain and the thrill of bike racing, I couldn't look back. 

2. Is Armstrong’s gold medal distracting when she wears it at “Disco Night” races? I got one from Ceasar’s in Vegas and it’s a big hit in my Cat 5 races. Does hers blind the competition or just the camera moto?

Kristin's gold medal is a huge accomplishment and she has dictated the sport of women's cycling for yeurs with her dominance.  I dream of also obtaining such hardware, but for now, her "bling" definitely is the real deal even though I have seen her son, Lucas, use it as a chew toy...apparently gold goes with everything...

3. What is your favorite race beside Mt. Hood and Cascade to compete in? What is your favorite to watch as a fan?

Well, you have named my 2 favorite races of all time.  They are awesome!  Doing the Giro Donne (women's Giro d'Italia) or going up the Mur d'Huy at Fleche was pretty incredible as well.  I am a very bad spectator, but while racing up a climb and passing the Illegal Feed Zone, the thought of spectating the carnage rather than partaking in the suffering is very tempting...especially with the Oreos...and other goodies...

4. What is your cycling nickname? If you could give yourself one, what would it be?

My nicknames are not public information.  I would consider a superhero name though instead of a "nickname".  I think my skinsuit is a superhero costume.  What do you think?

Editors note:  Next two questions seem to be an editing error.  I'm posting her exact response even though I think there was a a possible word processing/email glitch.  Alison, if you want me to change something I certainly will.

5. What is your favorite nickname for a cyclist?

Someone once told me that her husband "practiced bicycling" all the time on the trainer in the garage.  That just made me laugh. I should practice bikes more often.

6. How did the Road ID commercial come about? Fill us in on the fun behind-the-scenes stories.

I have been working with Road ID for a couple of years.  They are an incredible company, and I think a Road ID is a training necessity.  I was wearing my Road ID when I had a horrendous crash at the Cascade Cycling Classic last year, and my Road ID was able to get my parents to the hospital in Bend even more I landed there after being airlifted out of McKenzie Pass.  Then before the ToC TT, they asked if would do a commercial for them.  Of course I would, and it was fun filming with Bob Roll that morning and we had a lot of laughs.  I still haven't committed to going on a ride with Bob, but we will see.  I have learned to avoid such "rides/dates" and it was good practice for me to turn him down!   

7. What books are you reading on those long road trips? What is the most popular book in the US peloton right now?

We do read a lot on the road, and pass the books around.  It is more entertaining for us if we have common books to discuss.  Last year it was definitely The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series, love them or hate them...but this year we have been reading more David Sedaris.  I think I read Steinback's East of Eden, at least twice this year and last, and have shared that book as well.  And of course I read the Bible too!  That keeps my mind and heart at peace.

8. What do director sportifs do during the off season? Do they manage evil empires or just vacation?

Not to brag, but I think I have one of the best director sportifs of all time.  Giana Roberge.  She is a big deal.  She is a true professional, and an expert director.  That being said, I don't know how she would be at managing an evil empire, but I know she could do anything she put her mind to.  However, I also know that she has a coaching business out of Santa Rosa and spends her time mentoring and coaching her athletes when she isn't chasing around her adorable 2.5 year old son that actually may be more difficult to manage then a team of professional female athletes...

9. How much would it cost to get your whole team to “Like” the Illegal Feed Zone page on Facebook? I have $1.23 in my wallet right now. Would that buy your “Like”?

As much as we "liked" that feed zone...you may need to pay us more then that...or at least maybe invite us to an "illegal feed zone" that is actually out of race parameters so we could partake...

10. According to several important cycling figures (myself and the Skullkrusher from SpeedMetal Cycling) the Cannondale CAAD family is the best bike ever made. Here is your chance to plug for your sponsor, Felt, and explain how some silly little fabric mixed with glue can compete against the almighty aluminum. Besides the minor positives of lighter weight, better strength/stiffness, vibration absorption, comfort, weave-angle-specific design, looks, and aerodynamics; what benefits are there of going with a sweet Felt F1 over my CAAD7?

My Felt F1 is hands down the best bike out there.  It is stiff, it is light, and it just looks fast.  The geometry is perfect for me, and it has a great understated matte carbon weave.  I love the guys at Felt and they have truly designed some fabulous bikes.  I figure since my bike is made out of carbon fiber, and that is what planes are made out of, then my bike can fly.  Quite literally.  I trust that bike.  Besides, when I race my bike, she usually beats me.  Although she may be a stealth weapon, she is quite sassy and responsive...

11. What are your favorite post ride/race meals?

Peanut Butter & Co. and Jelly Sandwich.  Mighty Maple Peanut Butter with Honey, a little banana...and it is sooo good. 

12. Any advice for an aspiring 38 year old CAT 5 with a crazy job, family, and history of heavy ice cream use?

Balance.  Don't forget why we do this.  It is fun.  Ride to eat.  Spend time with your family.  Race hard, don't just survive, then eat the ice cream.  Remember to thank those that let you prance around in your spandex and shaved legs.  They sacrifice so you can do your hobby and smile.  Riding bikes puts a smile on your face and lets you feel like a kid again.  Don't lose the enthusiasm, and at the end of the day, remember, it is only bike racing.  Just bike racing. 

13. What are you going to do with your time when they kick you out of pro cycling for being too awesome? 

Who knows.  The options are endless.  With a background in the sciences, you never know.  I will cross that bridge when I get there.  Cycling isn't forever, but I have met some incredible people along the way, and I know I will find something to give back to the sport and those who have helped me in this journey.  But I have some big things to accomplish here before I get "kicked out" of the sport... 

14. What is the one race where you have really needed an Illegal Feed Zone? 

It was Stage 9 of the Giro Donne, and after working for the team to the base of the infamous Stelvio, it was a long way up those multitudes of switchbacks...Ouch.  No amount of Italian men in speedos could help.  I just needed a Coke, or a cookie...  The good news is that we won the stage and the entire Giro...It was all worth it.

15. Water, Coke, Gatorade or Beer?

It depends if it is before...during...or after... And not necessarily in that order.

--
Alison Tetrick Starnes

US National Team Member

Great interview!   To learn more go to https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Illegal-Feed-Zone/309854441712

Racing 2011

Well, the 2011 race season is finally underway for me.  I went out to PIR for Monday night racing and had the standard great time.   Finished 10 out of 14 in the Novice Masters.  Made it to the back straight on the final lap before being dropped by the lead pack.  I'm very happy with that considering my fitness has been hammered by a crazy work schedule and a really bad cold this spring. 

For those of you that don't know about racing PIR, here are the details:

1.9 Mile road racetrack.  Built for everything from motorcycles to Indy cars.  Smooth and pancake flat, the only variable is the wind, which seems to usually be an issue.   The races are between 6 and 16 laps, depending on which category you race in. 

Here is a link to the official site:  http://www.racemondaynight.com/blog/

If you have never raced there I recommend it.  It is a great workout and a lot of fun.  And the Illegal Feed Zone is always there with a post race beer (when I race...)

And I'd like to give a big thank you to my wife for supporting my biking habit.  Thanks babe! 

Keep on Riding!

Interview with the SkullKrusher from Speed Metal Cycling

I recently discovered a great podcast called "Speed Metal Cycling".  The dude that does the podcast goes by the handle of "SkullKrusher" and I sent him some questions from the Illegal Feed Zone.  Here you go.

-Which movie did a worse job portraying its sport? American Flyers or Nacho Libre?

Well, Nacho Libre was loosely based on a true story (Father Sergio Gutiérrez Benítez, aka Fray Tormenta), so I guess you sorta gotta respect that, plus it was comedy and not really meant to be taken seriously. I really love American Flyers (How can you be sick? You have a mustache), but the whole race at the end is preposterous. Even with the Merckx cameo, I think A.F. does a worse job.

-Who has the best nickname in the Pro Peloton? The worst? The most appropriate?

I love "il Campionissimo" for Coppi, just it sounds so cool. Cipo's "Super Mario" is pretty funny, since he was the one who came up with it. Pantani has awesome ones, "Nosferatu" and "il Pirata", but also terrible ones "Elefantino" and "Dumbo." Van Hooydonck's "Boss of the Bosberg" seems the most appropriate.

-When is another Frenchman going to win the Tour?

When the French people learn not to put so much pressure on their young riders. Maybe Rémy Di Gregorio stands a slight chance now that he's not in a French team.

-Who would win in a fight? Mini Krusher or Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris, maybe, since MiniKrusher is like 3'10".

-Did you know that when Chuck Norris works out the weights get stronger?

Of course I know that. I have the Chuck Norris Facts poster in my office!

-Why do the pros spend $10K on an aero wheels just to ride around with their rain jackets flapping in the wind?

Well, they don't really buy them themselves, but I know what you mean. Way worse than that are the fixie'tards who buy aero HED wheels to ride in the city wearing tight jeans and a flannel with a hyper-hip messenger bag. Idiots.

-Who would win in a fight, my CAAD7 or Mini Krusher? (editors note:  MiniKrusher is SkullKrusher's alter ego and he is too short to ride a bike)

Tough call. I'd have to meet your CAAD7. What size is it? If it's a 56 or bigger, MiniKrusher stands no chance.

-What component grouppo is better, Campy Super Record Carbon or Shimano Sora?

Another tough call. Does Super Record even come in a triple? I'd go for Sora, cuz it has the little lever to shift down and carbon just sucks.

-Is there really a mafia in international racing? If so, who is the godfather?

Are you kidding? Mario Cipollini, of course!

-What is your favorite race to watch on TV?

Oddly enough I'd say it's the mountain stages of the major Tours. Love them.

-Which would be your favorite to watch in person?

Of all the races I have seen so far, Paris-Roubaix has been my favorite, cuz you get to see the start, catch the race a few times and have enough time to see the finish in the velodrome.

-Water, Coke, Gatorade, or Beer

I'm riding, water (unless you guys are around, in which case I'll take a beer). When I'm having lunch, Coke. Every other time beer and more beer and then some more beer after a few beers.

Thanks for the interview SkullKrusher.   For anyone who follows this blog check out his podcast "Speed Metal Cycling" on ITunes or his website: http://speedmetalpodcast.blogspot.com/  right here on Blogspot. 

Take care and ride fast!

Andy

First Post! Welcome to the Illegal Feed Zone Blog

Welcome to the Illegal Feed Zone Blog! 

I'm a bike racing fan in Oregon and don't have the time to travel to out of state races but do try and go to the big ones in Oregon.  Because I like to go above and beyond, I decided to hand out drinks at the race in a spot where I think I would want one.   This is typically on the last climb of a big ride where it has been a while since a feed zone but there is still long enough to go that a cool drink would be helpful to get to the end. 

My intricate race analysis led me to a spot on the Queen stage of the Cascade Classic.  My spot must meet the following criteria:

     1.  Far enough from the last feed zone to be useful

     2.   Far enough from the finish to be useful

     3.  On a steep enough climb that the riders can communicate what they want and safely grab a drink

     4.  Far enough into the race that there will be stragglers and the riders will be spaced out

     5.  A race that is in a hot climate that will necessitate an extra feed zone

Here is the first Illegal Feed Zone:

I decided to come up with a simple communication system.  This way riders could let me know what they want before they get to me and I could have it ready for them.  The original system is shown below.

 After two years of doing this, I found that a Coke was more popular than a Gatorade at the Illegal Feed Zone so I have switched their spots. 

And yes, I do have beer that I hand out.  Always an Oregon microbrew.  I don't mess around. 

By the second year of the I.F.Z I had gathered a few buddies who liked to watch the race and help out/hang out in my spot.  Here are the three guys who have come out every year.  They are Bend residents and just ride out to my spot.   It is nice to have some help and some company.  For those of you that have been to a bike race, it can get pretty boring in between groups. 

In the third year of the Illegal Feed Zone I branched out and set up at the Mt. Hood Classic.  This one was tougher as the (legal) feed zones were a lot closer to the end and most of the riders weren't hurting when they hit my spot.  Therefore I wasn't as "needed" as I am at the Cascade Classic and many of the racers didn't partake. 

Here is my assistant helping me at Mt. Hood Classic. 

And anyone riding a Cannondale CAAD gets special treatment from the Illegal Feed Zone.

So, you may be asking about the name.  Well, I have been scolded by USA cycling for feeding the racers out of zone at every race I've been to.  Our compromise is that I don't feed the lead groups, only the stragglers behind the peloton.  This way they don't have to see it and penalize anyone and I can't affect the outcome of a race in a significant way.  So, after we go through our little diplomatic dance, I offer them a water and they go on their merry way.  OBRA, on the other hand, thinks I'm pretty funny and just hangs out and waves the lead group by - then turns their back on my operation and tells me that they think it is great I'm there. 

Anyways, my first signs said "Drinks, 1/2 mile ahead".  One of the guys that showed up and started hanging out and helping suggested that we had an "Illegal Feed Zone" going and the name just stuck.  Now my signs say "Illegal Feed Zone, 1/2 mile ahead" so there is no confusion. 

This last year the Illegal Feed Zone branched out into the neutral wheel support business as well.  I bring my bike and try to ride as much as I can before the racers arrive so instead of a drink, one of the riders from Cascade Classic this year asked for a front wheel.   I took mine off and gave it to him, noticing that I was getting a slightly better version of wheel in return, so I was confident he'd be back to claim his wheel.  Anyway, dude ended up with a top 20 finish on my front wheel.  Glad to be of service.

Lastly, a big shout out to Veronika Lenzi.   She is a professional photographer that has posted a lot of great pictures of the Illegal Feed Zone in action on my facebook page.  If you are a racer, support Veronika (Ronnie) by buying the pictures she takes of you.  I pay her in Gatorade and beer, so I'm getting a steal!  Thanks Veronika! 

http://www.veronikalenzi.com/index.php

Well, there is the Wikipedia edition of the IFZ blog.  Stay tuned for updates, my personal cycling exploits - BOOOOORING -, and a special interview with a cycling celebrity.

If you would like to see more pictures and older, shorter posts, "Like" the Illegal Feed Zone page on facebook.  

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Illegal-Feed-Zone/309854441712

Allez, Allez, Allez!

Andy